On the 23rd day of July in 1978 the world
witnessed the birth of a legend. Mark
Capitelli was born to an Irish-Italian
seamstress and a Sperm Whale living in the
infamous badlands of Hokkaido Japan.
He grew up tough fighting snow monkeys in the early
1980's and made a
name for himself as the original front- man
for Technotronic until he was replaced in 1987. He
gained his fortune and his infamy by flogging
unruly peasants for the Danish Royal Family
in the early 1990's.
He returned to the
United States in 1994 to attend The Lakeview
Girls' Academy of Connecticut for proper schooling.
After a proper schooling, he was transferred
to the Pantera Juvenile Detention Facility
of Oregon
two weeks later.
He
was finally released from his protective crate three years later so
that he could address the United Nations regarding the Asian snow
monkey crisis of 1997. He soon took up with a young Angelina
Jolie and proceeded to ruin her clean-cut schoolgirl image
forever. They remain close friends to this day, and Mark
waters her begonias weekly.
After single-handedly starting the Y2K
rumor and igniting the Latin Music craze in the early 2000's, he
finally settled down and married his pet Chinchilla, Elvira, in
2004.
Today he reviews
films and anime for HugeReviews.com from
random locations around the globe. If
you have any information regarding this man-beast's last whereabouts,
please contact authorities
immediately.
WE OPERATE
THIS SITE OUT OF OUR LOVE FOR
MOVIES, ALWAYS INTENDING ONLY
ENJOYMENT OF THIS GREAT SHOWCASE
OF THE THOUGHTS AND CREATIVITY
OF HUMAN KIND.
NOTICE: All sounds, pictures,
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contained on this site retain
their original copyright as
owned by their respective movie
production companies and are
represented here in order to
inspire desire to purchase DVD,
CD, Books, Posters, in other
words, the aftermarket of the
film.. All said files are for
educational, research,
criticism, etc. Digital Quill
Publishing, FalconRun, Inc.,
HugeReviews.com or any of our
employees holds no liability
from misuse of these sound
files."
