HUGE

Coruscant bathed in fog. Obi Wan leaping through a window…and going to a bar! Anakin and Padme, the first kiss, the music stops. “I slaughtered them like animals.” Wait…why is HE in charge of the Storm Troopers? Samuel L. Jaskson…Jango Fett…a head above the rest. “I’m beside myself.” The plans for what device…OH MY GOD! Yoda and Dooku, and the solution to the twenty-year long hand-lightning problem. A not-so-great solution to the OTHER hand problem. The Return of the Imperial March. Fade to starry sky, “Directed by George Lucas.”

There are too many wonderful moments in this film to try and choose from the best, but the aforementioned are a few of the jaw dropping ones. And the spine-tingling ones. And the ones that made me want to laugh, cry and stop breathing all at the same time. As a person who only spent the first five months in his life without Star Wars, perhaps I’m biased. But then again, aren’t I the type of person George Lucas makes these movies for in the first place? And to take it apart and examine different segment, even positively, kind of takes away from the experience of just sitting back and letting it happen. But here’s some highlights:

· The Casting. Finally with something to do, Natalie Portman shines in the action-heroine role, as well as the lover role, and I found myself repeating “Leia’s Mom” every time she did anything cool. Ewan McGregor, also with something to do, is still amazing as Obi Wan Kenobi, channeling Alec Guinness to perfection, and throwing in a little bit of Han Solo to boot! And Hayden Christiansen as Anakin…simply great. There’s a reason he’s already been nominated for major film awards. He’s good. Real good. Without giving a spoiler, the look on his face in the Tusken Raider camp…yeah, THAT look…sent a cold chill through me. He better take real good care of himself for the next 3 years, because now I can’t see anyone else, other than Jake Lloyd, playing that part.

· The Set Design/Scenery, Special Effects, and All-Controversial CGI. The advances in digital filmmaking show in this movie. It’s very technological, very computer generated, but much more refined than the stark contrast between reality and CGI in The Phantom Menace. And the locations for the shoot of the film are beautiful—Italy, Spain, Tunisia—Lucas seems to have found some of the most gorgeous locations on this planet to create his other ones.

· Lightsabers, Lightsabers, Lightsabers. The Darth Maul fight scene of Menace was incredible. How could he top it? By having an arena full of Jedi lighting up all at once and starting to go ballistic on some droid arse!

· The Deep, Pit-of-My-Stomach-Feeling-of-Dread. This point should have been called “Plot,” but the plot is good enough on its own. See the movie for the plot. And then you’ll feel that dread! Everything that happens in Clones is bad. There are beautiful moments, funny moments, and victorious moments, and they are all BAD! Because we know the fate of everyone involved, we know that all these happy moments are leading to death. The major galactic battle that fills the latter quarter of the movie is full of the irony that both sides are fighting for the same cause…and it’s the wrong one. Every little argument Anakin has with Obi Wan is building to one tragic fate. The Jedi’s assumptions of who is lying, what is truth, and what they should be doing about it…all wrong. The movie even goes as far as to show that Menace meant almost nothing. Everything that was going to happen was already in place at that time, and the meetings of Anakin, Jar Jar, and Amidala would all just help the cause…of the bad guys. In fact, the bumbling stupidity of Jar Jar that made him the scapegoat for the bashing of Menace turned 180 degrees in Clones, when you realize that the “comedy relief” has turned to tragedy. The character of Jar Jar is vindicated in Clones by this dark foreshadowing, and in his cameo of a presence in the film. What makes Clones such a powerful addition to the saga is that, on the surface, it appears that good guys beat bad guys until next time. Insetad, the bad guys already won the war before Menace even started. That is terrifyingly brilliant storytelling.

As one final point, I have heard complaints that Lucas is not the best director of the series, nor the best screenwriter. And it can be argued that Jonathan Hales wrote all the worthy dialogue of this film (except “what a drag.” That was all Lucas. And funny. Bad funny, but funny.) But this movie has the best single shot, single, still moment of any Star Wars movie. Don’t read on until you’ve seen it…still here? Good. When Boba Fett picks up his father’s decapitated head, it is chilling, powerful, and a moment worthy of something better than an Oscar. But when he leans his head into his father…gut-wrenchingly moving.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones is a powerfully worthy addition to the series. It changes the tone of Episode I, but also adds some very interesting nuances to the rest of the saga. When completed, these films will be an amazing library of astounding storytelling and filmmaking. For now, Mr. Lucas, keep knocking us off our feet.

[http://64.225.38.227/Share/and_your_opinion_is.htm]

Thank the Maker: Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones
by Christian De Matteo

HUGE

Incredible. Astounding. Unbelievable. I could just keep slinging affirmative adjectives and still know I had written a completely worthy and accurate review. Attack of the Clones was one of the most incredible movie going experiences of my life. Maybe the most.

Stop reading here. Go see it. This is all the review needed.

Have you already seen it? Okay, then keep reading if you want, but you already know what I’m going to say. Unless you didn’t like it.

And then you are insane.

I was wary after The Phantom Menace, which I was iffy on. I prayed this wouldn’t be as silly and that humor would go back to being the C-3PO/R2-D2 humor I loved and not the Barney-level Jar-Jar humor. I prayed it would have the resonance that the first (last) three had for me. I prayed it would be great.

Lucas must have heard those prayers. T hank the Maker, George Lucas has done a miracle. He has also justified himself to all the doubting Thomases— including, on a lesser but still present level, myself— that The Phantom Menace was exactly what it needed to be, and no matter what anyone thought before, it is now, also, a dark foreboding movie. Remember the happy little universe he served us in Menace where the biggest problems were Trade Conflicts? Yeah.

Well they’re all screwed.

Clones kicks you in the spine from the first scene and set you on a downhill roll. It’s a fun roll for a good part of it, the kind that makes you kind of forget the boot to the spine for some of the roll, but every now and again, then more and more, it begins reminding you that everything you think is neat or funny…is bad. Really damn bad.

People thought Menace was weak, bereft of emotion, bereft of real characters, silly with nothing really on the line. Clones serves up so much character you’ll be desperate for some shallow, cardboard types to relax. But no relaxation will come, you’ll just keep rolling down the hill, hitting more and more bumps along the way, then sharp rocks, then large sharp rocks, and you’ll know the universe will never again return to the happiness of Menace when life was skittles and life was beer.

Hayden Christensen is perfectly cast as Anakin, as the future Darth Vader and mostly as a Skywalker. He channels enough Mark Hammill to make you realize he wasn’t a bad actor, but just exactly what he needed to be for the story Lucas must live day in/day out.

Yoda is amazing. The CGI is perfectly controlled; lessons learned with Menace have been taken to heart. The story is fully formed and nothing but engrossing and entertaining. The politics are deep and wonderfully complex and each character is completely three-dimensional.

I could keep going, but I won’t. Go see it again. And again.

[http://64.225.38.227/Share/and_your_opinion_is.htm]

Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones

by BJ

Pathetic

I was very disappointed. After hearing such horrible things about this movie, I was afraid. But then people started saying that it was great, and that got my hopes up. People were saying that it made Episode I worth while. In the end, if I had to choose between sitting through the entire Episode I or the entire Episode II, I would choose I in a second. There were 2 redeeming values to Attack of the Clones. Yoda's battle scene, which while impressive to watch, ended as quite a let down, and Natalie Portman wearing the sexiest Star Wars outfit to date. Yes, her torn up skin tight white outfit even beats the Slave Leia bikini.

Over all, between the incredibly cheesy dialogue, huge plot holes and the reduction of C3PO's character to the equivalent of this Episode's Jar Jar, I was highly let down by this movie, and I'm going to go watch Spider-Man two or three more times just to try to make sure Attack of the Clones doesn't get the honor of out grossing it.